I laughed so hard when I read an article by Funke Egbemode on length of courtships. I have had cause to disagree with some of her previous articles on relationships before, but here, I completely agree with her. She is of the opinion that a woman - I guess she's referring to ladies mature enough, ready and able to get married - should not waste any time in cutting a man loose if he is bent on stringing her along. She says;
"... It’s either a relationship is serious or it is not. You are either heading for the altar or the rocks. If you are dating a man and in all of the 52 weeks that make a year, you don’t smell seriousness, you’ve been had. Cut your losses and take a walk. The earlier the better. Hanging on to nothing is foolhardy and you know what is most saddening; most women in relationships that are going nowhere are actually aware of the fact. They are just too afraid to cut loose; you know all that nonsense about ‘where do I start from’ bla bla bla. If you don’t end a bad affair while time is still on your side, you are liable to end up a lonely touchy old maid.
"A long courtship going nowhere strips a woman of her dignity and self-esteem. Because she is hoping that tomorrow will persuade him to make an honest woman of her, she shoos off other eligible males. Because she thinks he’d propose at the next valentine dinner, she discourages the real Mr Right. She reads silly meanings into everything he says or does even when the bloke means nothing. For instance, she mistakes his presence at her mother’s 60th birthday for commitment of an acting son-in-law. Nonsense, it’s just another party for him."
"So what if he attended with his friends? Did he not attend parties the previous weekend? What are you doing in a three-year relationship that is about eateries, Chinese restaurants and you acting like a wife every weekend? You do his laundry, warm his bed and cook his meals every week, yet he won’t buy a ring. Naah, you are either a fool or a sucker for pain. He makes love to you without protection but starts fretting if you are three days late. You have overheard him tell his friends that he’s not in a hurry to settle down. What else do you need to convince you that marriage is not on the cards? Now, his bad manners shouldn’t make you lose faith in yourself. That he won’t propose does not mean you are not a wife material. He’s just not the groom meant for you."
What are your thoughts?
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