Lil Wayne comes onto my screen spitting lyrics, cavorting against multiple backgrounds, and a lovely mixture of speedy beats rolls out the sound system. He’s dressed in a white singlet, gleaming jewelry and female leggings. The music slowly grinds to a halts and I take a sidelong glance at my roommate. His facial demeanour reeks of bliss, and he has something in his eyes. Some spark, an inner glow. I ask him the reason and he just shrugs and quips “Gold, I have found gold”. I ignore him, and get on with pressing matters. The day after, he returns with glee. And there it was, a dark blue leggings hugging his frame. He was bare-chested and had a smile that was worthy of a man with a family goldmine. “Check this out” he says. And check him out, I did. I train my gaze to his legs, swept it to hip thighs, and there it was, his bulging crotch waving at me from the leggings. I couldn’t contain this anymore and so the words came out. “HELP!!! MY FRIEND HAS GONE GAY”.
Deep down I knew he was straight, but I couldn’t help it with his leggings showing it all, his stocky calf, taut thighs, and his rock of a buttocks. Welcome to 2013, welcome to the age of masculine pantyhose and leggings (Meggings and Mantyhose). Welcome to insanity.
Meggings and Mantyhose are the hottest fashion trend for males. It’s sweeping through Europe across the Pacific, into America, and onto the hearts and bodies of Nigerian males. Historically the attire for antiquated European court jesters and fools, the tide of modernization, philosophies and bloody revolutions ran the monarchs out of town, and meggins and mantyhose found new life on the bodies of our Science fiction superheroes. Batman, Superman, Robin, Flash and the rest of them larger-than-life freaks. The superheroes are fast declining in popularity (except you still drink Cerelac, ask Mummy for coco-pops, and have a Ben 10 wristwatch) and with them the meggins and mantyhose.
Now they are back and hot. Emilio Cavallini, an Italian designer made the first productions and the males have become hooked. Guys are pining for patterned tights and now they have it. The major downside is the increased sweating, the ball-itch, and no zipper for pee time. It’s normal in Europe, trendy in America, and gathering followers in Nigeria. So I took a poll over the weekend and got some interesting results
20% of guys love and rock it.
30% are indifferent
50% percent screamed “God Forbid”.
And the females? An overwhelming majority say, while they’ll love it on their man during quality bedroom time, if he ever shows up on the street in that, looking like a gay porn star, then they’ll simply delete his number. Settled.
So guys here’s my advice to you: Express yourself. Capture your personality in your fashion styling. Bring on the jeans and sweatshirts, the meggings and the manntyhose. But just be sure to steer clear of your girlfriend and most importantly, your mother and pastor…
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